I asked my doctor for Xanax, a drug to help me with those freaked out times that threatened to blow a hole in my chest. The doctor didn’t have much faith in that drug. It was addicting and made people lethargic. But oh.. let me put you on an anti-depressant. It will take about 30 days to start working vs. Xanax which will work right away and by my count, thirty more pills than I would have otherwise taken in a month. Would this be long term? Reason would indicate that they would recommend for at least another month or so before re-evaluating, so I declined and walked away with nothing.
I’d been feeling a little down lately. Job in a dead end industry, health issues on the horizon, the state of the world, current and future financial worries and retirement and social securities uncertainties to name a few. Really… I’m kidding myself. Who can retire? All this sounds like depression, but I’m not in the depths of despair about it… it’s just kind of bothersome. I’ve really been anxious and kind of fed up with things I have no control over and then get into a snit for way too long. Temper, temper Alice! I just want to calm down when I’m over the top. The hell with my doctor.
When I give myself a chance to feel grateful, I’m thankful for many things. I am grateful to have a job, even though I’ve been doing the same unfulfilled job for 32 years. I have a financially secure roof over my head and lunch money every day. Maybe that’s all any of us can hope for and perhaps I should be happy I don’t live somewhere else.
Taken from an article written by Brian Ross from ABC news—
“Fatah, bin Laden's fifth wife and the only one left living with him in the house, had been gifted to the al Qaeda leader from a Yemeni family when she was just a teenager and later had three young children with him. Of his other wives, he had divorced one and three others had moved to Syria.”(Oh gee, I wonder why?)
Being “gifted” means a whole different thing, in my world. I’m blessed not to be living in a place that allows people to make a “gift” of another person. Next thing you know I might be set –up as a goddess somewhere. OK, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad; but I kind of like being me even if I do freak out now and then. Maybe I can skip the drugs and just be thankful instead.